So you think you can write?

“The Mentalist” premiered on ABC last night, and I was right there in front of the 50-inch, lapping up every drop of eye candy that is Simon Baker. He was Australtastic!

But the writers did us a disservice by trying to cram too much of his character, Patrick Jane’s, backstory into the pilot. It’s called character development, folks, and these things take time. You can’t do it all in an hour, and why would you want to? Give us a reason to want to keep watching, needing to know more about Jane’s past. Of course, there is lots more to know about him still, but really, I think we learned more than was prudent last night. The major plotlines in the pilot could have easily been spread out over three episodes.

First, the opening scenes where Jane solves the murder of a teenage girl at the hands of her father: All party tricks, with not so much to support it and make us believe the sleuthing was plausible. Give me that whole story over a full-length show, let Jane spout his mental wisdom, then show me how he came to his conclusion. Ep 1 in the can, and suddenly, I am intrigued, and wonder how he came by this gift with the few morsels you shared (or would have, had you actually done things my way) about his past.

Ep 2, Patrick Jane is back from the suspension handed out at the conclusion of the prior show (not minutes before, as we saw last night), and now we learn of Red John. Here’s where things start to get interesting, and you drop me a few more clues about Jane’s past. He solves the crime, we marvel at his skill, and we know him a little better. But we do NOT need the flirting and sexual tension and what-all with the boss lady, Teresa Lisbon (Robin Tunney). Why in heaven’s name would you alternately tell me about the man’s wife being murdered in one scene and have his fellow agent all googly-eyed over him in the next? I. Need. A. Progression. Here. Let me get to know these people first. PLEASE!

Ep 3, Here’s where we see Patrick Jane’s personal experience with Red John. The discovery, the aftermath. Would even have been great if we’d seen the bare mattress on the bedroom floor in a prior ep without knowing why (but not the wall – save that for ep 3). And tie it all in to the new case our new fave detective is solving in this installment.

All that aside, I did enjoy the show (could you even tell?), just thought it could have been done soooo much better. The writers gave Jane some great lines, though they were woven into that weak script and came off as non-sequiturs. Work harder, folks. When you give Simon Baker that choice material, he shines. I want to see that from start to finish.